"Leave some for me!" Tuxedo Mask yelled at the villain as he jumped on Sailor Moon.
Sailor Moon forced Tuxedo Mask off her body. "Jerk!!" she screamed as she punched him.
Tuxedo Mask turned around and pulled off his face, revealing his true identity. It wasn't Tuxedo Mask – It was Jedite!!!
"Yuck," Sailor Moon screamed, "Jedite tried to make out with me!"
A rose flies in and interrupts their conversation by hitting Jedite's hand.
"Sailor Moon, don't fall for his tricks – you know I always ask before I make out with you!" said a masked man.
"The real Tuxedo Mask!" Sailor Moon squealed as she ran over to give him a BIG kiss.
When that was over with, Tuxedo Mask turned to Jedite, "I'll punish you for harming my girlfriend!" he yelled.
Tuxedo Mask then tried to hit Jedite with his all-powerful really big stick. But before he could, Jedite shot Tuxedo Mask several times in the chest with a machine gun.
Overpowered with rage, Sailor Moon picked up her Majestic Moon Princess Gun (patent pending) and shot Jedite in the head.
After killing Jedite, Sailor Moon walked over to the fallen Tuxedo Mask, gun in hand. She raised the gun...
And shot Tuxedo Mask in the head.
"I saw you," she said, "You were cheating on me. And with Rei too! How could you be so pig-headed?"
As she journeyed home in the moonlight, Sailor Moon quietly thought to herself, "This was the worst Valentine's Day in the history of bad Valentine's Days..."